Thanks For Trying!

Dear Mara, 

Thank you for your pitches to California Coast Brides Monthly. But after much thought, I’ve decided that they don’t quite fit with the rest of the site’s content. Because you said you’re a young writer, and I was a young writer once too (so long ago! Oh the number of gray hairs that’ve invaded my head since I was your age!), I’ve taken the time to outline why I’m passing on your ideas. 
Here’s why:
1. While your idea for an article about the top 10 ways to remove a stranger’s vomit from your dress was highly inventive, we at California Coast Brides Monthly generally shy away from publishing anything that promotes excessive drinking and wedding debauchery. I understand that you were in this situation yourself at your cousin Casey’s wedding and mistakenly used a white wine spritzer in hopes of avoiding a stain and want to prevent others from making the same error, but unless all of the methods involve mason jars or individualized champagne flutes, we really aren’t interested.
2. I liked the premise for “the best smells to lure a groomsman into bed.” I think you’re tapping into a rarely talked about subject. That being said, it’s a bit too taboo for our readers. Especially your suggestion about lining your underwear with a tablespoon of cinnamon, 1/2 tsp of chocolate, and 1/2 tsp of baking powder. 
3. In general, we don’t like insulting our readers and your listicle about obnoxious dress codes was far too judgmental. In the future, I advise that you stay away from citing specific brides who have personally offended you with their dress code choices. No matter how complicated “Oregon Trail Formal” is, and how much you resent Emily for making you wear a bonnet to the ceremony, this really isn’t the outlet for your anger. 
4. “How to Act Like You’re Totally Okay with Your Ex-Boyfriend Marrying Your (now) Ex-Best Friend” would work if you rephrased it as “The Best Ways to Keep the Bridal Party Happy” and replaced your suggestion to “Drink yourself into oblivion and publicly out your ex boyfriend as a closeted My Little Pony aficionado” with “Buy slippers for your bridesmaids so they have comfy shoes to change into for the party!”    
I think you have a lot of potential. Please take a look at our archive and then pitch us when you get a better grasp of what we’re looking for. Good luck!
Kelly Marsh
Senior Editor
California Coast Brides Monthly 

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